Can't Talk to the Taxman

Aargh! 

I’m trying to get a call through to the CRA. Yes, the Canada Revenue Agency. It seems they do not want to accept my GST/HST filing for this past year. My accountant tried to file electronically, which is how we’ve been doing it for years, but it bounced back…with no explanation. So, not wanting to run afoul of the government,  I put it in an envelope and mailed it. Last week I got a response…they tell me they cannot accept my filing …quote…“we cannot process this return because we are not expecting a return for this period.” Hmmm?? In the next sentence they ask that I, “Please file a new GST/HST return for the appropriate period as soon as possible.” Wha?…what IS the appropriate period? Did I fail to file last year? And if so why have I not heard from them? 

Just to be sure I dug into my 2016 return and found my confirmation of filing  and all relevant info. So…nothing left but to call and speak to someone and find out what to do…hence my frustration. No one answers the number provided. No one answers because it does not ring through. The service is overloaded. 

Nothing to do but try, try again…and again, and again. 

Aargh! 

I recently read that the CRA has failed to collect over 40 billion dollars in owed taxes, about half of that is business tax and the rest is owed by regular folks. 

Forty billion! 

That’s enough to build a wall along our entire border with the U.S. Imagine if we beat them to the punch. What a piss-off for Donaldo, the great wall-maker… talk about a make work project… and we will need to make work for a lot of people now that we are at war with America. Well ok…so it’s only a trade war…but still, we’ll have lots of excess steel to unload and all kinds of unemployed manufacturers just itching for a project. And, seeing as how we are at war, we might want to take a few of those dollars to buy some used American fighter planes from the Australians (who, I assume, are buying new fighter planes from the Americans so they, too, can have a war with them). 

The lunatics have indeed taken over the asylum…again. 

Oh well…’scuse me…I have to redial the CRA. After all, if I can’t file I can’t pay… and the grand total of unpaid tax becomes 40,000,000,000 plus me…and I don’t want to be part of any G'damn wall. 

They’re coming to take me away hehe, hoho, haha!

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